I'm tired of feeling so numb
by xCohen
Summary: Jeremy x Tyler. A little fanfic about Vampire Diaries. The story begins shortly after Vicki's death. Jeremy believes Vicki has left town. He misses her but knows that this is the best for everyone...
1. Chapter 1

After Vicki's death everything was different. Jeremy did not know anything of it because Damon manipulated his mind – so he believed that Vicki left Mystic Falls and that this is the best for everyone. He should not look for her, but there was one thing this manipulation could not take:  
The feeling of gaping emptiness in his chest. It felt like a big hole which roped everything in.  
Thus Jeremy was not sad about it however he felt that emptiness in his chest and did not know where it came from or what it was supposed to mean. For the first time in weeks he did his homework (he had to catch up a lot), sat downstairs in the kitchen and ran over the pages of his schoolbooks. Elena and Jenna could not believe what they were seeing there. Elena knew however that this was probably caused by Damon's manipulation – she was sorry that she had to lie to her brother. But she did not have another choice. She did not want him to live with this pain because he went through a lot after their parents' death. Anyway he lived his life now and it seemed he got away from all those drugs. At least Elena hoped so.

"How's it going?", she asked and went to the kitchen table where Jeremy put his school stuff.  
Jeremy shrugged. "I've to catch up a lot. Well, if it is not important, be quiet please", he said with a slight grin on his lips. His sister nodded and left him alone. She was happy that he was occupied with other things. Some time she would tell him the truth but it would not be so soon. She just wanted him to be happy. Jeremy worked himself through all those boring American Civil Wars. They had a new teacher now, their old history teacher was killed by an animal. At least everyone believed that. Jeremy did not want to spoil it all. Tanner had it in for him and therefore Jeremy did his best to leave a good impression.

After a while Jeremy had enough and packed his things together. Just in this moment his aunt Jenna came to him in the kitchen and smiled. "Ready? Are you hungry? I could cook something", she said while she got a cup out of the cupboard. Jeremy shook his head but smiled back. "No it's okay. I will make me a sandwich or something like that later", he said and went upstairs to his room. His aunt looked after him and was a little bit disappointed because she hoped the three of them could eat in the kitchen together. But she was relieved that he spoke more than three words with her. He never took her seriously even less as a person of authority. Well, that wasn't Jenna at all. One day he claimed he needed wood for a bird cage but he rather went to Vicki Donovan. Well, Jenna believed him. Now Vicki was gone and he had to live his life again. She hoped he was going to be successfull.

Jeremy lay on the bed in his room and looked at the white ceiling. He could hear Elena next door talking to Stefan Salvatore. Actually, Jeremy liked Stefan because he was really a gentleman. Elena was kept well with him. But Jeremy rather had someone who cared for him or someone to care for.  
At this moment he had to think of Vicki. She will never come back but he did not worried about her.  
"Vicki Donovan left town. She will never come back. Don't ever look for her and don't worry about her. Although you miss her you know that she is fine and that it's the best for all." These thoughts came back every time when he thought of Vicki. They gave him hope and he felt better. But who told him that? He did not know. Slowly his eyes closed and sleep took him in a dark and blurry realm of dreams.

The next day he woke up because of the sunlight which promised a wonderful nice day. Sleepy he dragged himself out of bed and went to the bathroom where Elena was brushing her teeth. "Oh", he said and wanted to leave as Elena called him back. "Good Morning!" She looked at him with a pervasive glance. "I'm ready. You can come in", she said, left the room and closed the door behind her. Jeremy was relieved, washed his skin with cold water to wake up. He definitely needed a coffee. Hopefully there was coffee downstairs already otherwise he would not be able to do something.

So he was getting rid of his clothes and went to the shower. Probably a cold shower would effect miracles but he'd rather shower as hot as possible that it nearly hurt. That was exactly the way he liked it. He spent as much time as possible, towelled himself, combed his hair and shuffled to his room again where he took some new clothes out of his cupboard. Jeremy was getting dressed rapidly finally he arrived downstairs in the kitchen. Elena and Jenna were sitting there together eating breakfast and drinking some coffee. Jeremy just wanted to ask if there is another cup of coffee for him as Elena pointed to the free chair. "Breakfast is ready – and coffee as well", she said and smiled friendly. What was going on with them? Was there a common breakfast on the plan? Normally Jeremy never ate anything in the morning because he didn't have much time. But he decided to do it now, sat down and grabbed a cup of coffee. Firstly he sipped coffee to check if it's not to hot but it was perfect. So he was able to quaff it.

Elena and Jenna were blinking at him. Slowly they were getting weird. "What's wrong with you? Do I have something in my face?", he asked them and began to laugh. "Nope, we are just happy to sit together and eat breakfast. The last one was a long, long time ago." Well, Jenna was right. Jeremy could not remember it anyway. So he horked his sandwich down and his coffee afterwards. Then he went upstairs to get his schoolbag. "Jer? We're driving together, okay?", Elena asked and stood in front of the door already as he came down the stairs. "It's okay", he said in a monotone voice.  
"Have fun you two!", Jenna called after them as they left the house. Hastily they went to Elena's car and stepped in. Jeremy was taking place on the passenger seat and looked over to his sister who was starting the motor. In some way, it would be a wonderful day like the sun promised this morning. Jeremy was smiling and looked at the houses and meadows passing by. They didn't talk during the drive, it seemed Elena did not want to bother her brother somehow.  
As they arrived at the school parking lot they said Goodbye to each other, Elena went over to Stefan who was waving to her. Now Jeremy went over to the schoolbuilding because he did not want to be late for American History for the first time in weeks. On his way Jeremy didn't believe that somebody could rain on his parade.  
But then he saw the only person who was able to do that in a second: Tyler Lockwood. He was sitting there with some of his new cheerleader chicks . Damn Tyler Lockwood, he couldn't cared less about Vicki, Jeremy thought. As Tyler saw Jeremy, he said something to the girls, stood up and came over to him. Jeremy's face went dark. What did he want again? He prepared himself for a bash on his head... "Gilbert. May I talk to you for a second?", Tyler said.

"What the hell do you want, Lockwood? Vicki is gone. She left town – leave me alone." Jeremy wanted to go to the school entrance, but Tyler did not want him to. "I don't want to talk about Vicki. I just want to bury the hatched. Alright?" Jeremy was stunned. What the heck was going on with Tyler Lockwood? That wasn't him. Jeremy didn't want to be friends with him. "Piss off!", Jeremy mumbled and ran over to the entrance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the nice reviews! I hope you'll like that chapter as well and the spelling/grammar is okay, too.**

At least Jeremy didn't have the need to drink alcohol or use harder drugs. He just wanted to catch up in school. Probably it was also caused by Damon's manipulation, of course he didn't know anymore.  
It was only a question of time until he'd find out, Elena should know that as well. But just for the moment it was the best way to protect her younger brother. That's what his 'big' sister wanted.

Catching up at school was more difficult than Jeremy expected. In American History he was on a "nearly failed" what definitely wasn't encouraging. Alaric Saltzman, the new History teacher, gave him another chance though. He should write an essay about an important event or something like that to improve his grades. They made this kind of agreement after two History periods after everyone else was gone. "Well, I'm looking forward to your work then", Mr. Saltzman said friendly and gave Jeremy an encouraging smile. Saltzman seemed to be really okay- the old Tanner never would have made such a deal. But Tanner wasn't there anymore, he was killed by a wild animal (at least everybody thought so ... the truth: Damon killed him).

"Thank you Mr. Saltzman. I won't mess it up, I promise", Jeremy answered and shook hands with Saltzman. Saltzman nodded. "Great. But always remember: You don't do it for your teacher, you do it for yourself. Just for yourself. I couldn't care less to fail you. You have to fight for your grades and show me that you can do better. Did you know Tanner had some kind of 'register for idiots'? And you were the top on the lists ... " After Jeremy's frightened look Mr. Saltzman only could laugh. "Don't be afraid. I am not Mr. Tanner. Well, you should go. You have lots of things to do, don't you?"

Jeremy nodded, said thank you again and left the classroom. Now Jeremy just had to find something about he could write that essay. Saltzman did not want a standard topic copied from Wikipedia, he wanted something independent. After school, he met Aunt Jenna in the Mystic Grill to eat lunch and to show her he was serious about everything. So they were making small talk. Just like every time.

Fortunately, it was easy for Jeremy to talk to Jenna because she was more a good friend for him than an aunt. Well, she was not even 30 yet. "How was school today?", she asked and took a big swallow of her strawberry milkshake. "It was okay. The new history teacher gives me another chance", Jeremy answered and ate his baguette. "I shall write an essay about a topic that regards the city. But I don't really know something..." Jenna looked at him thoughtfully and then it seemed she had an idea: "There is an old journal from great-grandfather Johnathan Gilbert. It's really old but I suppose it could be useful. Your father kept everything up." Jeremy thanked her for the hint – he would look for it later. He wandered his gaze through the room and discovered Mr. Saltzman, who was sitting alone at one of the tables.

Jenna followed his gaze and giggled. "Oh, who's that?", she asked interestedly and started to observe him. Jeremy laughed. "That's my history teacher. I could introduce him to you, if you want." Just in this moment Saltzman recognized their glimpses, stood up and came over to them. They got along with each other immediately and Jeremy didn't have something against it. Jenna just wanted to have some fun in her life, too. "Well", Jeremy said finally and stood up. "I'm gonna go home. I've got _lots _of things to do", he said with a grin on his face and left the pub.

Jeremy didn't pay attention on the way because he was busy with his MP3 player and just ran into somebody. "Damn ... I'm sor-", he began and looked at the person he was ran into – Tyler Lockwood. That's the last person he needed. The second time of one day he met Tyler. "Watch where you're going", Tyler hissed and gave him an annoyed look, but only some seconds later his face seemed to relax. Jeremy snuffled. "Didn't you want us to be friends this morning, Lockwood? You won't get any friends like this. Well, I don't want to have something to do with you at all. Leave me alone." The anger in Tyler's face came back immediately. "Buy some glasses if you can't see anything", Tyler answered and passed by, not without bumping into him. "Douchebag!", Jeremy shouted and went home. About Tyler Lockwood Jeremy could only shake his head. This guy had everything – a huge house, a successful father (the Mayor) and could swim in his money if he wanted to. Yet it seemed he got boring every time so he looked for someone to argue with. Tyler has been interested in Vicki as well but probably for her ass only. As he thought about Vicki he felt the emptiness in his body again and could not breathe for a moment. Vicki left town, she was fine. Jeremy nodded and pushed his thoughts aside.

He arrived at home soon, put his bag beside the staircase and went into the basement where all those things were in some kind of carton. It did not take long until he found and brought it upstairs. However, he wanted to open this carton in the privacy of his room. He had seen the carton often besides his father and the reminiscence of his father hurt him. Jeremy sighed, ran his finger over the rough cardboard and went upstairs, where he put the carton on his desk, turned the light on and sat down. Now he was ready to look at those old things. The contents of the carton: a brown, unimpressive book which probably was Johnathan Gilbert's journal, a lot of old letters, postcards and photographs. He grabbed the old journal and began to read.

_I live in fear. It consumes me. In the early evening, when I see the sun begin to fade, the fear comes. Because I know that the night brings death._

Jeremy frowned and got to know that this "fear" was an allusion to some creatures who came by night and drank their victims' blood. So he asked himself why his great-grandfather wrote such creepy things. That was exactly about vampire stories. Jeremy sighed again and put the book away.  
He was too tired to think about all that anyway. He was getting a headache and needed some fresh air. Therefore, he decided to go out for a short walk.

In the meanwhile the sun was gone and the dark road was only illuminated by some lanterns. He could not discover any stars. He imagined those creatures with creepy, bloody fangs over and over again. Maybe his great-grandfather was a little crazy as he wrote that. Well, he would ask his aunt Jenna later for that. Automatically, he went over to a small creek and took a seat onto one of those huge stones. He often went fishing here with his father. How happy he had been there ... his eyes filled with tears. He missed his parents so much. Now there was only Elena and him. They had to learn how to live without them. Suddenly, he heard cracking branches and looked over his shoulder. He was not alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you very much for your reviews. I'm glad you like the story :) Here is chapter 3 for you. **

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"Who's there?", Jeremy shouted into the darkness. There was no lantern at this creek anywhere, it was pitch-dark. He squinted his eyes and tried convulsively to see anything and then he saw someone who stood there a little far away from him. Jeremy's heart was in his mouth. The sound of breaking branches could be heared again and it seemed the person was coming towards him. Jeremy did not know what to do – he was trapped. The creek was deep so he could not swim to the other side. "Go away!", he shouted. "Hello?", the person asked. That voice seemed familiar to him. Then he grabbed his mobile phone and held the light into the darkness – Tyler Lockwood. Again. The third time he met him on this day.

It was getting creepy step by step. Tyler looked at Jeremy a little confused but then he seemed amused. "Scared of the dark, Gilbert?", Tyler said slowly and grinned. Jeremy stood there and did not move, he was still a little scared. But he didn't want to seem weak in front of Tyler Lockwood. Never.  
"What do you want from me, Lockwood? Are you stalking me?", he confronted him directly, went back to that stone and sat down. Now it was Tyler who just stood there and didn't move. He just looked at him again. "What are you looking at?" Tyler blinked, laughed and came over to him.  
"I was just out for a walk. This creek is not your property, Gilbert", he said and took place on another stone.  
_Silence._  
Jeremy felt Tyler's glimpses and turned to him. It was strange to sit here with him. At this place where so many personal things happened. With his father and him. So he asked himself what Tyler was up to. He didn't really disrupt Jeremy, it seemed okay to sit there with him.

"I've been here before", Jeremy said quietly and looked at the dark water of the rolling creek. "With my father. We were fishing a lot. He teached me how to do it ... this is the first time I got here since he died" Jeremy didn't know why he told him that. Probably Tyler was not interested at all, but he seemed to listen to him and Jeremy just wanted to talk to somebody about this.

"That must have been very nice", Tyler mumbled. Tyler could only dream of such a father because his own father never had time for him. He criticized him all the time and wanted him to be perfect. Yeah, that was nice, Jeremy thought and nodded. He didn't know if Tyler could see it, without the light of his mobile phone it was dark again. So they were just sitting there and looked at that dark, black water. After a while Jeremy was getting up and told him he had to go home now.

Tyler seemed to be different, but maybe Jeremy just imagined it. They never have been talking so calm like this time. In some way, Jeremy liked it. It was good to talk to somebody. He couldn't do that with Aunt Jenna or Elena. He would have talked to everybody and it had nothing to do with Tyler. That's the truth. It just was a coincidence. Jeremy sighed as he arrived at home and sneaked into his room. He was really tired and it was 2 am in the morning already.

The next day he would go to the library for some books about the history essay and about vampires. But there were not any vampires all over the world anyway. With this thoughts he fell into an anxious sleep and woke up with a headache in the morning.

This was the reason why Jeremy took some pills after he got up. He got high with those pills not so long ago, but a headache should be a real reason to take some. It would not be bad for him, he thought. Elena and Jenna were sitting in the kitchen, finished with their breakfast. As Jeremy entered the room, Elena just wanted to clean up the table. "Oh, I thought you wanted to stay at home today. I tried to wake you up three times in a row." She seemed worried. "I'm sorry", Jeremy answered and grabbed himself a cup of coffee. He definitely needed some coffee after that too short night.  
While Elena was getting the dished into the dishwasher, Jeremy drank some coffee and Jenna ate the rest of her bagel, he remembered the topic he wanted to talk to Jenna about.

"Ah... Jenna? " he said and put the cup back onto the table. "I found Johnathan Gilbert's journal. "  
His aunt grinned and seemed to be happy about that. "This journal is ... well, kinda creepy. He wrote about... " Elena left the kitchen and ran upstairs to get ready for school. "About bloodsucking monsters?", Jenna asked. "Jeremy, Johnathan was a writer. He wrote plenty of fantasy stories. Probably he noted some of his ideas in that journal. You know, there are not any vampires in the world, huh?"

After that conversation, Jenna drove Elena and Jeremy to school. As they arrived, Elena ran over to her boyfriend Stefan Salvatore. Jeremy rolled his eyes, laughed and walked to the school building.  
Now he had two periods of American History. After the lesson, he was going to tell Saltzman he found a suitable topic for his essay. He wanted to do research about all the vampire legends in the city, using the journal as some kind of main source.

In the afternoon he walked to the library which seemed to be empty. No one was there. Well, at least he could look for some good literature about his topic without being interrupted. He walked to one of those huge bookshelves, but he did not find any suitable book he needed. He did not know where to look. As he wanted to ask Ms Pince, the librarian, he ran into a young girl who had lots of books in her arms and dropped them abruptly. "AH, I'm sorry!", she shouted. Jeremy smiled and wanted to pick up her books, but it seemed she had the same idea. So their heads bumped.

"Ouch! Oh my god, I am so sorry", she stuttered and picked up her books. "It's okay", Jeremy said.  
What an embarrassing act. The brown-haired girl made a little clumsy impression and seemed to be around Jeremy's age. At least he thought so.

"I'm Anna. Nice to meet you. "


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry about Anna, I hope you'll forgive me ;) But she is... uhm... needed. Just read until the end of this chapter. And thank you so much for your reviews! I'm so happy you like it. In Germany, there are not many people who like Jyler (I don't understand why) so it's cool that here are so many fans of that pairing.**

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Jeremy told her he was going to write an essay about the origin of legends and myths around Mystic Falls. Somehow, Anna was talking directly about vampires. But Anna seemed to be nice so he was able to talk to her about it. Actually, she did not go to school – she got private lessons and went only to the library because the so-called "learning-atmosphere" was better. She seemed to be quite clever and Jeremy liked her somehow. Anna gave him some literature about his essay topic and wanted to leave early. However, she told him about an old journal in which she read about "creatures of the night". She got Jeremy's attention caused by that. He convinced her to come with him to the Mystic Grill to talk about that mysterious journal.

They played some billiard there and talked about the journal. "It's funny that we had ancestors who both had diaries. And they wrote nearly about the same things... ", Jeremy said and was about to pocket his billiard balls. Anna just smiled and watched him. "You don't believe in it, do you?" Jeremy's billiard balls missed the hole and it was Anna's turn now. He shook his head and smiled.  
"Nah. My aunt said my great-grandfather was kinda crazy. And he wrote fantasy stories or some kind of that." It seemed Anna was about to win their billiard match. "You're a pro", he said and smiled.  
Normally, _he_ was the winner in every match. "Maybe you don't pay enough attention to it", Anna answered and went over to a nearby table. Jeremy drank something and watched Anna thoughtfully who was looking back at him, smiling. "We could watch some movies. We'll borrow some horror films, maybe about vampires... feel like coming along?", she asked hopefully.  
Jeremy sighed and looked at his half-full or half-empty glass. "Don't understand me wrong ... but"  
Anna shrugged.  
"It's okay. I've been to pushy. You don't sound happy, I'm just..."  
But Jeremy shook his head. "No, that's okay. You are not pushy, but I just had a relationship and I need some time."  
"Oh, I didn't mean it like this. We could do it as friends."  
Jeremy seemed relieved. "Sounds nice. Maybe we could do it some day."

The brown-haired girl nodded, looked at her wristwatch and finally stood up. "Well, I gotta go. My parents are waiting for me, I guess. It was nice to meet you", she said and walked over to the exit.  
Jeremy sighed. Actually, he liked her – she seemed nice and did not look quite bad. But he had to think about Vicki, too. _Vicki Donovan left town. She will never come back. Don't ever look for her and don't worry about her. Although you miss her you know that she is fine and that it's the best for all._  
Yeah, there was the voice in his head. He closed his eyes and began to massage his temples a little.

He needed some fresh air and it was quite late anyway. So he decided to walk home.  
Thoughtfully he wandered across the empty and dark streets of Mystic Falls and wasn't sure what to believe anymore. At least, his history essay would be quite good because of Anna's help. He would have to thank her somehow, maybe he'd invite her to somewhere. After a while, he passed a small park between two normally crowded streets. From a distance he was able to see someone sitting on a park bench, probably a homeless guy or someone who just wanted to get drunk. Jeremy could see plenty of bottles standing around there. Jeremy just wanted to go because he did not take drugs or drink alcohol anymore since Vicki. But the person called his name. Jeremy stopped and recognized the young man who sat there – Tyler Lockwood. "Done again...", Jeremy mumbled, but came over to him slowly. Sitting alone on a park bench and getting drunk , that wasn't the Tyler Lockwood he knew. Tyler rather did it with some girls he wanted to seduce.

"What are you doing?", Jeremy asked and took place besides him. Yet he did not want to come nearer to him. He sometimes beat him without any reason and Jeremy was not in the mood of it now. "Just having fun", Tyler said with a pitiful voice.  
"That's interesting. Didn't know you can have fun like this."  
"Well!"  
"What do you want from me?"  
"What?"  
"Yeah, you called after me."  
"Must I have a reason for that?"  
"Actually... yes."

Jeremy did not like this conversation somehow. Probably Tyler was drunk and now he was annoying him. He just hated it. "I'll leave now if that's okay", Jeremy said in a cool voice. He didn't expect Tyler to answer something. As he wanted to go, Tyler was calling him again. "Jeremy ", he mumbled and made a weird choking noise. This was the first time Tyler talked to him with his first name, as he remembered. Jeremy turned over to him. "You should go home", he said and looked at him thoughtfully. He did not like Tyler maybe he hated him. But he could not leave him there, drunk and choking. "Where is your car?", he asked and Tyler pointed to the nearby parkinglot behind those trees. "Well", Jeremy mumbled and helped him to get there. He would take Tyler to his car and drive him home. Or should he left him in his car? Probably that was better.

But as he looked for the keys in Tyler's trouser pockets, lay him inside and got in the car as well, he just started the motor and drove to Tyler's house where he lived with his parents. Actually, Jeremy didn't have a driver's licence but he got used to drive cars with his parents in the past. Tyler did not say a word during the whole drive, he just sat there silently and looked very pale. After a while, he parked the car in front of the huge Lockwood mansion. He wasn't there ever. Jeremy trudged over to the frontdoor and looked at Tyler again. "You'll manage the rest, I suppose", Jeremy said and rolled his eyes. As he wanted to leave Tyler held his arm. "Stay ", Tyler answered in a normal voice. "For a beer?"

"You wanna drink a beer with me?", he asked him disbelievingly while Tyler still held his arm. There was something weird in Tyler's gaze, something anxious. But Tyler would not accept a "No", so he nodded. He'd go after that for sure.

Jeremy waited until Tyler opened the door and entered the mansion. It was kind of overwhelming – everything looked like they were back in 18th century. A big crystalline chandelier hung on the ceiling and the walls were decorated with plenty of old paintings. Jeremy followed Tyler through the foyer into the modern kitchen. He gave Jeremy a beer and went upstairs with him into his well arranged room.

Jeremy asked himself what he was doing there actually. He was in the house of his archenemy and stood there with a beer bottle in his hand. The dark-haired boy made himself comfortable in his bed and looked at Jeremy who was standing there without a move, even without drinking his beer.  
"Don't you like beer?", Tyler asked and drank his own. "Don't you want to take a seat?" The brown-haired blinked, shook his head and sat down onto the chair in front of Tyler's desk. He looked around the room was wondering about the tidiness. He didn't expect that. But he drank a little bit of his beer and looked at Tyler again who was smiling. What was going on with this guy? Jeremy began to feel uncomfortable.

"Where are your parents?", he asked and drank a little bit more just to occupy himself.  
"Mom is out on a booze and Dad... is sleeping with his secretary", Tyler answered in a monotone voice. Tyler looked better by now, at least his face got a normal colour. After a while, Jeremy had enough. His beer was empty and he just wanted to go home. It must have been very late and they could be worried about him as well. So he stood up and wanted to leave but just in this moment Tyler stood up and went to Jeremy to stop him again.

"Jeremy... ", Tyler mumbled and blocked his path to the door. He had this strange gaze again. Tyler had drunk definitely too much. "Let me pass. Or do I have to get rough?"

"Just go and try it", Tyler grinned and Jeremy tried – he wanted to push him away, maybe beat into his face, but Tyler was fast. He pushed him against the wall. They were never so close together like this time. Jeremy could feel Tyler's warm breath on his face. He could not think anymore, his heart was beating in his chest and hot flashes flown his 's lips came nearer and nearer and before he knew it Tyler kissed him roughly but impulsively.

One beer ... that was too much for him? Although he consumed so many drugs with Vicki? Tyler pushed Jeremy over onto his bed. He bent over Jeremy and kissed him with full of desire and passion.

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**I hope there are not so many mistakes, I got some errors there and missing phrases, don't know why.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the feedback. So here is chapter 5. Special thanks goes to Poppy Salvatore-Ozera who translated this chapter for me (originally it's German and I'm a little lazy in translating...). Hope you like this chapter as well and there are not any missing words or phrases again. I think it has something to do with the upload or word maybe, I'm trying to get some more information about that. **

**Well, here you go!  
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Jeremy woke early in the morning from a deep sleep and could not remember anything at first. As he looked around the room, he saw Tyler Lockwood lying next to him. Upon seeing him he remembered everything again.

He couldn't believe what he had done the night before! He couldn't grasp why he had done what he did with Tyler Lockwood last night! He couldn't believe he had been able to such a thing yet he had. With Tyler. Tyler fucking Lockwood of all people!

Jeremy quickly looked for his things, gathered them and out them on, if somewhat awkwardly. A groan from behind showed him that Tyler was awake. Tyler initially seemed to be too confused and was suddenly very pale in the face as he remember what we had done. Kind of the same reaction as me, I guess. "If you tell someone what we did, then you are so fucking dead, Gilbert. Do you hear?" He hissed with a slight tremor in his voice Jeremy stared at him in shock that he would say something like that even if he didn't actually like Tyler like that he thought they wouldn't go back to hating each other.

Without another word Jeremy disappeared from Tyler's room and stumbled down the stairs in the huge, old-fashioned lobby. The people in the paintings all seemed to stare at him. Contempt seemed to lie in their looks, even a little amusement. Jeez, he was even hallucinating now! He rushed to the door, which he slammed shut behind him and ran. Ran back home. It could not be true. He had had sex. Sex with a boy. Sex with the person he despised most. Sex with Tyler Lockwood. Oh God...

At home, he stumbled up the stairs to his room and almost his aunt into the ground in the process. She was screaming something about "Where have you been?" But Jeremy did not care at this moment. He just wanted to be alone. He slammed the door behind him and paced.

What should he now do? Presumably it was for the best for him to forget the thing night just like that. But could one ever forget sex? I mean, especially sex with a boy while you are actually a boy? Jeremy flopped down on his bed and closed his eyes but almost immediately opened them when he did. If he closed his eyes, he saw Tyler's face.

He grabbed his head, slammed it into the head rest on his bed and then disappeared into the bathroom to shower. He felt incredibly dirty and like garbage. How could sex _do _this to a person? Is this what prostitutes felt like?

He quickly closed the door behind him so Elena or Jenna couldn't disturb him, took off his clothes (which he carelessly let fall to the ground) and stood under the shower. He cranked the shower up to as hot as possible so that the water was painful. However, he felt at that moment at all. He still could not believe it. Maybe the pain was his way of punishing himself?

After a while he had come to the conclusion that he hated Tyler Lockwood more than ever. He had brought him to something he would never otherwise have done. He was not into boys, but girls. Into women. Females. The opposite sex to him. He told himself that it was an aberration. Somehow they had drunk too much and then it had just happened. Perhaps he could ignore the whole thing somehow, or at least it make every effort to.

He got out of the shower, pulled on some joggers and left his top half bare. A short time later, he heard someone knocking at his door. "Jeremy?" Elena said with a calm voice and slowly opened the door. "May I come in?" She didn't wait for his answer, but came in even though he scowled at her. "What's the matter? Where were you last night?"

She fired questions at him without giving him space to answer them so he just waited until his sister was finished then answered in a cold tone, "I forgot the time. Why does it interest you at all?" Now Elena's calm attitude was gone and she looked beyond annoyed.

She folded her arms whilst saying, "I am your _sister_ and I'm worried about you. Is that so bad? Jenna was also almost sick with worry. Do not _ever _do something like that again! And now it's time for school. Make yourself ready, you can ride in my car with me." Elena threw him a death glare that wasn't effective in the slightest and finally left his room.

She didn't have a clue what was going on with Jeremy. She would freak out and look at him in the most disgusted way. Even if he did hate her, he wouldn't want his own aunt and sister looking at him weirdly and telling the whole town. No,he wouldn't tell anybody. If he did, they would presumably faint from shock.

In school everyone was talking only about those stupid 50's party, which would be held in the gymnasium. Everyone should come in outfits of the 1950's and there was going to be oldies music played and everyone had to dance like they were in the 50's.

Jeremy thought it was just annoying and ridiculous, and was _not _going anywhere near the school on the night of the dance. However, not only in history did he stand on 'failed half', but also in English.

His English teacher had sentenced him to pour the drinks at the party and to get rid of anything that had high alcohol levels. Ha, Jeremy was just the guy for that! The teacher really had no idea... However, he could not refuse, because otherwise he would simply fail. Not good. Soon he had to do the homework for Saltzman. He had finished the research just not written the actual thing. If worst came to the worst, he would just hand in the notes. He had enough after all the research he did... The paper was enough to distract him from Tyler Lockwood, who he, luckily, hadn't ran into.

Later, he went back to the library and hoped for a moment, him and Anna could reunite. However, to his disappointment, no one was there except Ms Pince who just rammed some books on the shelves, and seemed to be pretty bad mood. She had probably confiscated a pupil's bottle of Bourbon again, which they deposited under the desk and always took a drink when no one was looking.

Jeremy sat at a table in the corner and spread out his history notes. He made a few extra notes and finally went to one of the computers to begin his chores. Jeremy was so engrossed in typing, that he didn't notice how the little brown-haired girl appeared behind him and read everything he wrote as he wrote it, not saying one word. When Jeremy decided he wanted to take a break and turned around to see a girl leaning over his shoulder he said at last, "Damn, you frightened me," and as he said it , he almost fell off his chair.

Anna only watched him and looked at him giggling, "I'm sorry. You were so absorbed in your work, I didn't want to disturb you. And I see I was quite successful." As she said this she smiled impishly, "So, I see you haven't finished then."

Jeremy nodded. "I'm unfortunately still far from finished, and have to give in the work soon." After a little more discussion about the work, Anna agreed to help finish the work with him as long as she got a game of pool when they were done.

He was only too happy to agree, because then he would be finished quickly and he could be distracted from Tyler. Since he had Anna met again, he could remove Tyler Lockwood from his head completely. Tyler was stuck in his head and no matter what he tried to do to get him out, Anna was the only method that worked so far.

No sooner said than done, Anna and Jeremy sat down in front of the computer and started to write the homework. After more than three quarters of an hour they were finally ready. Jeremy even printed out the finished product so he could give it in the next day.

While Jeremy was walking with Anna through the city, he wandered off with the idea of Tyler again and again. He wondered what had enticing Tyler to sleep with him. Maybe it was that he so drunk. The alcohol bottles certainly proved it. _Damn Lockwood_, he thought to himself. Jeremy had no idea how to react when he saw Tyler again. Fortunately, he had avoided an encounter with him so far today but there was only so much avoiding you could do in life.

"Earth to Jeremy, earth to Jeremy!" shouted Anna, which tore him from his thoughts. Jeremy hadn't realized that they were now in the Mystic Grill and were standing in front of a billiard table. That was how out of it he had been. "What's the matter with you? Do you not feel like billiards? I'm not bad, am I?"she asked quietly. "We can sit down and stuff if you want?" Sit down and stuff sounded good, so Jeremy nodded and sat down immediately at the nearest table which happened to be a small booth. Anna did the same and looked at him curiously.

"I'm really sorry, Anna. It's not you. I'm just a little ... out of it,"said Jeremy, and ordered them two drinks when a waiter came by.  
"It's all right. Want to talk about it? "

Jeremy shook his head. "Not at the moment. But thank you for the offer ... I think it's really great of you that you have helped me with that work. "

They talked a little, but only about trivial things that held no interest to Jeremy in the slightest.

He noticed it was getting dark and excused himself and told Anna they would talk again sometime. He then walked home and thought about Anna. Anna was really nice – if a little pushy. He had only talked to her for the second time today and knew next to nothing about her and she nothing about him yet she acted as if they were best friends. Presumably she meant no harm, Anna seemed to simply be happy that someone was talking to her. She doesn't go to a public school, but had private tuition at home, so she was probably had next to no contact with teenagers, and was pleased by his attention.

Once home, he was greeted by Elena and Stefan, who, it seemed, had just cooked dinner together. "Hey, Jer!"Elena said cheerfully, waving a wooden spoon at him. "Stefan and I just make dinner. Jenna is out, so it's just us three." Jeremy nodded, wanting to get away from his sister and climbed slowly up the stairs to go to his room.

He wasn't actually hungry, he just wanted to be alone. "Jeremy? We would be really happy if you eat with us." Jeremy shrugged his shoulders, mumbled a quick "Maybe." and disappeared into his room.

His older sister sighed in a disappointed manner. In recent days, his behaviour had improved significantly, but now it seemed to be deteriorating again. Stefan was immediately on the spot and putting his arms around her to comfort her. "Can it be that Damon has did anything wrong? Jeremy doesn't know yet about Vicki but he's acting like he knows something is up." she whispered, worried and turned to Stephen, to look him in the eye.

But Stefan only shook his head. "No, Damon does not do things by halves. There is something else that is upsetting him. Give him a little time." Stefan went back to the salad, while Elena walked off to set the table. She hoped that Jeremy would come down and eat with them but she knew that wasn't happening any time soon.

Jeremy,meanwhile, was alone in his room, staring at the ceiling. He was lost in thought again – about Tyler nonetheless. After a while, he came to the conclusion that it was better to go to Elena and Stefan and eat. Otherwise, his sister would want to talk again. So he pulled himself together and went slowly down into the kitchen where the two lovers were waiting for him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to Poppy for beta-reading again! :) And thanks to the others who like reading my story.**

* * *

When the day of the dreaded 50's party came, Elena and Jenna were running around like stupid headless chickens.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and tried to concentrate on his cereal. Normally, he didn't eat anything in the morning but today he was in the mood for it. He had gotten up too early – especially for a Saturday. He didn't get up that early on a school day for God sakes! He couldn't sleep well during the night though because of all the many things he thought about. Nothing positve had happened in the last couple of days for him. Anna called him constantly on his mobile phone and he regretted that he gave her his number.

She was acting like some kind of weird stalker, which he never thought possible for such a nice looking girl. Looks could deceive. Jeremy really liked her but she was too pushy all the time and she wanted to read Johnathan Gilbert's journal which he gave to Mr. Saltzman. For your information, Jeremy got an 'A' for his essay and now he was another step away from 'failed half' in History, which was acctually a kind of relieving feeling.

He had successfully gotten having sex with Tyler out of his mind for the last couple of days and he did not see Tyler in the school hallways either. Also, he didn't want to talk to him anyway. If he closed his eyes, he sometimes saw the naked body of Tyler, and had a sudden want to kiss and lick him everywhere. The brown-haired boy shook his head and stood up to bring the half-full dish to the sink. He was not hungry anymore, stupid-douchebag-Lockwood spoiled his appetite.

Jeremy couldn't bear the house or Jenna or Elena or Tyler any longer and he didn't want to do the dishes so he decided to go out again.

He went to the creek again and looked around at the green grass, old trees and bushes. Jeremy thought of his dead parents and sighed because he missed them so much and that hurt a lot. There only was the placid creek and himself until Tyler Lockwood arrived. Jeremy turned around and his every move froze. Their eyes met and both of them seemed to be quite pale.

"Gilbert," Tyler said and continued the staring match.

"Lockwood," Jeremy answered with weakness in his voice – which he hated. They continued to stare at each other without saying a word quite a long time. "What do you want, Lockwood?" Jeremy wanted to disguise his fear with anger. But Tyler did not answer and didn't fall for it. Ty came to Jeremy slowly – as if approaching a scared wounded animal.

"Stay away from me!" Jeremy said quietly and did not know what to do. He could win in a fight against him, but was that a good idea? Tyler didn't give him time to react to his next motion, he grabbed his arms, held them tight and pushed the younger boy against a huge tree. It seemed to be like déjà-vu.

He did not expect that and felt the hard tree in his back and Tyler's warm, muscular and attractive body pressed against his own. He lost control for a second and groaned indeliberately. Tyler stared at him for a moment and grinned as the younger brown-haired boy moaned quietly. And then he kissed him – he kissed Jeremy roughly and brutally but with some kind of passion as well. But Jeremy just stood there and did not know what to do – and he could no longer resist the only boy he found sexy.

So he kissed the older boy back hard and brutally as well and hell, he liked it. Jeremy liked the force Tyler was kissing him with. No girl could get that and he could match it without being worried about hurting Ty. Tyler's hands wandered under his shirt and stroked over Jeremy's quite soft skin while he continued the kiss and licked over his lips to get Jeremy to open them for him. His hands continues to roam and scratch gently at Jer's slighly muscled stomach.

Jeremy floowed Tyler's lead and let their tongues met each other.

Jeremy could feel Tyler's errection pressing against his own and broke the kiss although he didn't want to."I hate you," Jeremy mumbled more to himself – trying to justify it to himself. He pushed and finally got away from Tyler.

"Oh, really?," Tyler asked and grinned again. Jeremy wanted to beat that grin off of his smug face, no he just wanted to kiss those lips again.

"Want some more, Gilbert?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No."

"Really? You sure? I think you want some..."

"No... I-I hate you," Jeremy mumbled and ran away. He knew he couldn't resist Tyler anymore, he just wanted to hold him and kiss his warm lips. But, Tyler didn't want that. Tyler just wanted angry sex whilst Jer wanted love. Besides, what would Vicki say if she saw them? She would be disgusted and say she would not want to see neither Tyler nor him. But she left town.

As he arrived home, he locked himself in the bathroom because he didn't want to be disturbed by Elena who was driving him crazy (She wasn't ready for the 50's party yet and just wanted to blow-dry her hair). Well, it would not take long and she probably was going to survive if she didn't do it. He got rid of his clothes and went under the shower. This time he had a cold shower, too cold for his taste but it was better for...certain matters...

After a few minutes, he came out of the bathroom (fully dressed again) and his sister seemed to be relieved. "That took forever!" she said in an irritated voice and ran into the bathroom with a hair-dryer in her hand.

"You could have done that in your room." He said and went over to his room to listen to some music as loud as his MP3 player could turn it up. His kind of music – some nice Avenged Sevenfold. He didn't want to be at that party but he had to, thanks to his English teacher. So, he better get his fill of good music now.

When the time came, he went over to school where the organizer's were arranging some more things at the last moment and panicking slight;y. His English teacher brought him over to the beverage cart and told him to really pay attention if someone tried to put alcohol into the punch.

After a while, the first couples who were dressed in the 50's arrived. In some way Jeremy thought it was funny, and he smiled as he poured drinks for them.

His sister Elena was there, too – with Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Both of them. She wore a pretty blue dress and had something glistening in her hair. She winked at him and he just nodded and rolled his eyes. At least he couldn't see Tyler Lockwood anywhere – he was probably arriving with some naive, blonde chick and forgot her the next day. Undeliberately, he thought of Tyler's lips, his taste, his muscular body ...

"Hey Jer," Anna squeaked happily.

"Anna ... what are you doing here?" Jesus... the one place I thought I could get away from her!

"I'm helping out, just like you."

"But ... you don't attend this school."

"I couldn't care less about that." She licked over her lips and smiled at him. "I'd really like to read this old Gilbert journal. Could I borrow it?"

"Sorry, I don't have it anymore."

"WHAT?" She seemed to be shocked. "You don't have it anymore?"

Jeremy nodded. "I gave it to my teacher Mr. Saltzman. He wanted to read it."

"Can't we just take it out of his classroom?"

Jeremy just laughed. "This is just an old, stupid journal. You can read it some other time."

Anna seemed to be really angry, her facial expression changed and small blue veines around her eyes came visible. Her eyes went dark ...

"Anna! What's going on with your eyes?" But she turned around. "Nothing ... I ... just have something in the eye. I gotta go."

In the meanwhile, Tyler Lockwood arrived with a young brunette girl from the cheerleader team. Tyler seemed to be bored as he held open a door for her. Tyler didn't know her name. Was it Tracy or maybe Lindsey? He didn't know anymore and he couldn't care less about it. He just arrived here with her because his dad was one of the chaperone's.

He saw Jeremy at the beverage cart and told the brunette girly that she just should take a seat while he was getting some drinks.

Jeremy wore the same clothes like in the afternoon but he looked hot as well, Tyler thought. He had the sudden urge to kiss him and tear off his clothes. "Hey Gilbert," he said nonchalantly as he arrived at the beverage cart. Jeremy's face was full of emotions: Astonishment, Anger and Passion. "Two drinks, please," Tyler said smiling and obersved the younger boy while he filled two cups with some punch.

Tyler liked it somehow, that he know just how to make Jeremy insecure. But he did not know why he was doing it – he wasn't gay, he wasn't a fag. He just wanted sex and sex with Jeremy was not bad at all. Another time with Jer would not kill him – afterward he would be able to pull his life together again. Tyler grinned at him, grabbed the two cups and went over to this brunette girly.

Jeremy shivered and tried to put his body under control, but it was hard because Tyler worried him a lot. Jeremy did not like it and he did not know what was going on. He looked over to the dancing crowd and discovered Elena and Stefan who were dancing as well. They did it really well, Jeremy had to admit that.

He then searched the crowd for Tyler and it didn't take long until he found him. He was sitting there, flirting with this brunette girl – it was driving Jeremy crazy. He felt somebody rushing behind him but as he turned around, he did not see anyone.

What he didn't know was that Elena had to fight for her life, Anna looked for Johnathan Gilbert's journal and Stefan killed Elena's undead menace with Damon's help. How could he have known that his sister was stalked by an evil vampire? He did not know there were any vampires at all.

At midnight, most of the couples were gone and he had to go, too. His English teacher was giving him a second chance in English and he was relieved about that. Jeremy just wanted to go to the toilet and wash his face because he felt a little tired. And whom did he meet there? Tyler Lockwood.

"Are you still stalking me?" Jeremy said in an upset voice. Tyler grinned, Jeremy was able to see it in the mirror."Just leave me alone."

"On one condition."

"Which one?"

"Spend the night with me."

"Brunette girly wasn't in the mood of that?"

"She doesn't have anything to do with it. What do you say?"

"I say no."

So Jeremy left the toilet and was still upset. What did Tyler Lockwood think he was? He would not ever have sex with him again. He didn't want to feel like some kind of prostitute again. They couldn't do that – they _must_ not do that. They were both male and it was not normal. As he went home, he felt this emptiness in his chest again.


	7. Chapter 7

**So here we go :) Chapter 7 translated by my adorable beta reader Poppy. **

**Hope you'll like it!  
**

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Outside, it began to get colder, so everyone decided they would prefer staying indoors. This is exactly why Jeremy spent his afternoon in the Mystic Grill after school. With a hot drink and fries he started on his homework.

The school had seen that he had really improved in the last test and he had achieved good results. He would start the school work from the past year now but he was still quite far back from satisfactory.

Tyler had left him alone the last few weeks, he probably realized that Jeremy would not engage in their 'relationship'. While Jeremy was not so absorbed in his homework, he noticed Matt was working in the Grill now and made sure that the tables were clean.

Jeremy realised that Tyler wanted his attention and was currently flirting with _every _girl he could see. This was, he supposed, in hopes of making Jer jealous. But jealous of what? He wondered to himself. Not without reason, Ty had chosen the pool table near Jeremy. When Matt made it over again to clear the table next to his, Jeremy laughed seeing Tyler play himself at pool. Tyler nodded to the young brown-haired and acted as if he was angry over his laughter.

"Laugh, mate," said Tyler, and returned to the pool game. It had to be really stupid and desperate to play against himselfself. Jeremy shook his head, grinning to himself and tried again to concentrate on his homework.

But in that very moment another person came running toward him - Elena's friend Caroline Forbes, daughter of Elizabeth Forbes, the sheriff of the town. "Hey little brother Gilbert," she said in a friendly tone and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, hi," he said shortly, and smiled briefly. He could not remember ever being addressed directly from her - not even from the time when Caroline was often at his house. Besides, Elena and Caroline weren't even that great friends anymore. Ever since Caroline got with Elena's ex-boyfriend (Matt), they weren't so good. Caroline glanced briefly at his homework, looked uninterested and looked back at him.

"Are you going also to Duke's party?"

"A party? I think not. "

"Well, he's just come back from Duke and is throwing a party near the old cemetery. It's definitely going to be fun! Everyone will come. And you want to miss it! "

"… Wait a minute," Jeremy said with a grin, "Duke goes to ... Duke? "

Caroline rolled her eyes. "I don't know his name. Pete or something. But does that even matter? He goes to Duke University and spends the weekend here in Mystic Falls. The party will be the best of the semester! "

Jeremy shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's not such a good idea. "

"Come on Jeremy, it's just a party. And everyone is invited, even Maverick," she said, winking at him. "Well, think about it. I better be going." The blonde then went over to Matt and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Both of the teens were uncertain about public affection so they rarely showed any.

Tyler had a quick conversation with the two, smiled and slowly started to walk out. At the party he would give careful approach, and try his best not to freak Jeremy out again. If he pressured Jer, he would get no where so he had to pace himself.

Each time Tyler met him in the corridors or in the schoolyard he felt the need to press him against the wall and kiss him hard. Tyler was hoping that he would come to his senses soon, because he couldn't stand it any longer. If he had one more time with Jeremy then got a girlfriend, he could have some sense of normality - or at least he believed.

Jeremy pulled his baseball cap on his head, pached his school things in his bag, paid for his hot drink and decided to go back home. He didn't feel like going to Duke's party and he would rather be alone in his room and obsess about his constant thoughts of Tyler.

Just as the door to the Mysic Grill had closed behind him, he saw Anna on the farside of the townsquare. Maybe he _would_ go to the party - with Anna.

"Hey Anna!" He yelled, raising his hand and ran towards her. Anna seemed somewhat shocked to see him, but she soon overcame it. "Long time no see, what was with you?"

Anna shook her head as if waking from sleep or from comeing out of a daydream. She smiled and looked around nervously. "I had to do a few things ..."

Jeremy grinned and then built up his courage before asking, "Tonight is a party, near the old cemetery. Are you going with me? "Anna looked at him strangely then nodded and told him she would be there.

Jeremy then made his way home after saying some parting words.

At home there was nobody to be seen. It appeared Jenna and Elena were both out so Jeremy had a little time to get ready and maybe even time to get a bite to eat.

He hoped that Anna would not stand him up, but from what he knew about her, she was too honest to do something like that. She seemed to be hiding something but Jeremy didn't know what and wasn't sure if he wanted to either.

One thing, he did know however, was that he liked Anna because she seemed to be everythinng he liked in a woman – also, she helped to distract him from Tyler Lockwood. After all, Tyler had left him alone, and seemed to be beginning to behave relatively normally again.

So it was all back to normal... except for now and then there were the dreams that Jeremy robbed of sleep. They seemed to be forever etched into his memory – him being pressed against a tree with the bark digging in his back and having Tyler kiss him roughly and passionately.

A tingling sensation passed through... certain areas as Jer recounted his haunting dreams. Jeremy shook his head, he would not continue to think of it.

He tried to concentrate on what would happen later that evening and decided to take a shower to kill some time.

At some point the time to leave had come and Jeremy grabbed his jacket and beenie hat, and went on his way to the old cemetery, where he remembered spending most of his time with Vicki. It was funny to go there again - without Vicki.

When he got there, he got deafened by crazy loud music and his senses got ambushed by the smell of a _lot _of beer. A small fire burned not too far away and it was already pretty full around there. He would not drink much, because he had decided to drop stuff like that when Vick left.

Jeremy took a few steps and looked around for Anna. But someone grabbed him by the shoulder and span him around. "Hey man, you have some weed?" Asked Tyler Lockwood and grinned at him. He smelled strongly of alcohol and looked as though he had already emptied several bottles.

What the hell was wrong with this kid? Tyler slept with him, chased him away, pursued him and now he asked him about a joint. Jeremy shook his head helplessly. "No. And even if I had something, I would not give it to you. You know I ditched that shit."

Tyler looked at him and for a moment and Jer couldn't decide if he wanted to punch him or kiss him. Either wouldn't be great, but he only took a step back and dropped the weird expression. "All right, Gilbert. Just stay alone, wander around the world alone, run around all alone and be happy alone. Hollow inside, "said Tyler, well, more slurred Tyler. The older boy then turned and ran back to the fire. Tyler had too much alcohol inside him to give Jer any trouble tonight.

Jeremy had an urge to follow after him but repressed it and didn't as it would just give Tyler the worng idea and make him even more smug than he already was.

Jer turned away from Ty to go in the opposite direction, but suddenly Anna stood in front of him and he got a little fright. "For God's sake!" said Jeremy, laughing.

"A somewhat strange welcome, but good," Anna said with a smile on her lips. Jeremy grinned, put an arm around her shoulders and slowly walked with her to the outside line of trees, where it was not so crowded.

Jeremy leaned against one of the trunks, which reminded him once again of his dream. He tried to ignore all the similarities and simply watched Anna smile.

"I'm really glad that you came." He said finally.

"Did you think I would ditch you?" She asked as her eyebrows rose upwards in disbelief.

Jeremy laughed. "Well, you never know ... Now we can be two loners instead of just me on my lonesome."

"Let's walk around a bit," suddenly said Anna, taking his hand as she said it.

After a few minuted of aimless walking, they stood back. They were now very close to the old ruined church. Anna looked at him up and Jeremy returned her gaze.

He immediately felt the need to bow and kiss her, which he eventually did. Anna had nothing against it, and even stretched a bit in the air until their lips finally met. They kissed tenderly, her lips were quite different from those of Tyler Lockwood. He wished that it was Tyler's lips... He broke the kiss nearly as soon as the thought popped into his head and looked at Anna. Her face was different - small dark veins had appeared on her skin, her eyes were incredibly dark - just like on the 50 party. "Anna ... your face! "said Jeremy and stared at her. Anna turned away quickly, saying that it was nothing – just as she had at the party.

It took a while before Anna began to speak again. "I'm leaving the city."

Jeremy stared in disbelief and disappointment towards her. "But ... why? "  
"I'm going with my mother to another city," she said, and turned her head toward him again. Her skin looked normal again, just as her eyes did.

"But ...-" Jer was about to ask why, but before the words left his mouth, he felt something hard against his skull and passed out with pain.

"You didn't have to do it that hard!" Anna said, angry and worried at the same time.

"Oh, yes I did," replied the young vampire with the expression of jealousy and hatred in his face.

"Anyway," said Anna, turning away to hide her expression, "bring him over to the church. It is about to begin. Stefan, Damon, Elena and the witches are already there. I'll get my mother."

With an uneasy feeling,Tyler roamed the forests and could see from afar the ruins of the old Fells Church. He had gone slightly overboard with the alcohol since Jeremy had turned him down again. Also, just to top it off, Tyler had watched the younger boy disappear with this little girl in the woods.

He was somewhat jealous of this petite girl. Jealous of whether she was getting some from him or jealous of her being able to actually _have _Jer and be seen with him was beyond him. Tyler was sorry, sorry that he had to be horrible to make himself feel better – but that's what happend when you want something and you can't have it.

The younger boy would not committ to a relationship with Ty or even just to be fuck buddies - especially not after what Tyler had idiotically said earlier.

Suddenly, he was pulled from his thoughts by amazingly bright flames coming from the church, but only for a moment. There came a painful cry as if someone burned alive and then silence fell. Tyler crept closer extremely slowly and could see someone lay in an awkward position with their face in the ground.

As he approached, he immediately knew to whom the body belonged to - Jeremy. Tyler got a fright, ran to him and knelt down beside him. For a brief moment, he had assumed he was dead. But, as he checked in a panic, Ty found Jer was still breathing and sighed with relief.

What had happened to the beautiful young teenager? He seemed to have an injury on his head and it looked pretty painful. He had to get Jer away to safety - _now_. He took him up into his arms and ran behind a high bush to hide for now. In a daze, he realised that he liked the thought of being able to pick Jeremy up and liked the way his body fit to his perfectly.

He ridded those thoughts and realised strange things were going on. Tyler absently stroked the other boys cheek lovingly and gazed at him. Suddenly, he heard footsteps so he snapped his eyes from Jer's face to a huge hole in the ground where he saw the girl Jeremy had disappeared in the forest with, with a fragile-looking woman. Tyler now understood absolutely nothing.

After a while, a few other people appeared: both Salvatore brothers, Elena and her best friend Bonnie in the company of an old woman. What went on here before he came? What had happened below?

Tyler wanted to get up and see, but suddenly Stefan Salvatore stood beside him. "Tyler," said Stefan seriously and looked at Jeremy. "Bring Jeremy home. And don't remember what you've seen here tonight."

Tyler nodded, he knew somewhere deep in his mind he should be able to speak back but he was unable to muster words. Tyler helped Jeremy stand up when he came to.

He threw a quick glance at the people gathered around the big hole and noticed that Elena embraced Stefan's brother, Damon. Something bad had to have happened. But he would bring Jeremy home and forget these events here.

He picked up Jer and ran to the edge of the forest and, after a short time, came to his car. Jeremy muttered unintelligible words and opened his eyes quickly then his eyes dropped again.

He quickly drove to the house of the Gilberts. No one seemed to be home, but about a second later, Elena was standing next to him, nodded approvingly and opened the door. "Bring him up please," she said anxiously. "The second door on the right."  
Tyler nodded again, and climbed up the stairs, went into Jeremy's room and put the younger teen on the bed. After a second of mindless staring, Elena came in with a first aid kit and said quietly, "Thank you for bringing him home."

Tyler nodded again, he didn't know what to say. He left the room and stopped for a second in the doorway, offering Elena a shaky smile.

Elena dabbed Jeremy's forehead with a damp cloth and was relieved when her little brother finally opened his eyes. "Damn ... my head, "said Jeremy and sat up.

"Slow down," said Elena and stroked his hair. "After all, it's not bleeding. There will be only a bump, I think ... "

Jeremy seemed to lose some of the tension in his body and turned to his older sister.

"I don't know how this could happen. I didn't drink, honest, Elena. I don't do drugs anymore. I swear to you!"

Elena hugged him as hard as she could and murmered, "I believe you. But now I _have _to go see Stefan. I called Jenna - she'll be here as soon as possible." Jeremy simply nodded and waited until his sister had left the room.

Then he stood up, sat down at his computer, called a search engine and typed a single word, 'Vampire'.


	8. Chapter 8

The day afterwards, everyone seemed to be worried about him. Jenna even made him breakfast for bed, which she hasn't done before. "Thank you", Jeremy mumbled and looked at the great choice of toast, yoghurt and cereal. He was relieved as he saw the coffee and began to drink it.

Someone knocked on the door and Elena came in who smiled friendly. "How are you, Jer?", she asked and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I'm okay", he answered, smiling. "I slept quite well"  
Well, that was not really true because he stayed awake the whole night, thinking about everything what happened.

Elena still smiled and observed him as he tried to eat some toast. "Ah before I forget, you should say thank you to Tyler. He found you and brought you home."

Tyler. Tyler Lockwood brought him home. Jeremy could not believe it! He sighed, nodded and could not say anything negative about that.

During the weekend, he didn't do anything important – he just relaxed because Jenna and Elena were so worried about him and looked for him every single second. His wound was not serious at all – he just had a bump on the back of his head. However, he had to do something very important: He had to say thank you to Tyler Lockwood.

So he got dressed, put his shoes and hat on and was ready to go. He didn't know where to find Tyler however, so he went to the Mystic Grill where it was quite empty at this time of day. For just a moment he thought Tyler was not there, but then he saw him, sitting at a table on the edge.

Jeremy took a deep breath and slowly came over to him. "Tyler", Jeremy mumbled while looking at him. The dark-haired boy looked up, seeming to be pretty surprised to see Jeremy.

"Hey Gilb... Jeremy. How are you?" He pointed to his head and seemed to be quite unsure with his words.

"Oh, it's alright. It's just a little bump", Jeremy answered, looking at an empty chair, but didn't sit down. "I just wanted to say thank you", he whispered and finally looked at Tyler again.

"You're welcome. I would have done this for everyone", Tyler said in a cool voice. Their gazes met, but then the two of them looked elsewhere again.

"You... don't want to take a seat? "

"I should leave."

"Okay."

"See you around."

Jeremy looked at this boy again, turned around and went over to the exit. He remembered again – the hard tree in his back, Tyler's hot, kissable lips, his muscular body. No, this wasn't right. He liked it – but it was wrong.

While Jeremy left the Grill, Tyler was still sitting at the table, staring into space. He did his best in ignoring the urge to follow the young boy, pushing him against a wall, to kiss him hard and roughly.

During the next few days, nothing really happened at all. Jeremy's bump on the back of his head healed and disappeared finally, but he felt restless. He didn't know what to do and that emptiness in his chest was there almost every day.

His mind was full of Tyler Lockwood, Anna, Vampires... especially of Tyler Lockwood. He just wanted to see Tyler, he wanted to kiss his lips, wanted to touch him, wanted to sleep with him again.

Although his mind was full of Tyler Lockwood, he wanted to get distracted by someone else. He thought, that Anna was the right one for that somehow. So he did almost the same she did with him: He called her, spoke on her mailbox, sent her textmessages. But she never replied.

For this reason, he was sure she left town, just like Vicki. Jeremy liked Anna but he desired Tyler. Anna reminded him of Vicki somehow. Maybe everything was just a big lie. And Anna didn't want to talk to him anymore, he didn't know what to do.

He was really surprised as the door bell rang in the evening – it was Anna who stood there, smiling.

"Anna. I thought you left town! "

"Things change ... I want to live here with my mother now."

"Wow... that's great! Do you want to come in? We could play videogames, or something."

"I'd love to."

They were talking a lot, Anna was the first person who listened to him honestly and told him the truth about everything, at least he thought she would. He liked her and finally, he distracted himself from Tyler.

"Are you... hungry, Anna? We could cook something together."

"Oh, yeah sure."

So they went to the kitchen and agreed to make a healthy salad. Jeremy just took the knife to slice some tomatoes, as he looked at it thoughtfully. There was only one possibility to find out what was going on with Anna – he had to confront her with blood.

He sliced himself deeply and deliberately in his hand and let the knife fall on the floor. "Damn it."  
It seemed Anna was getting paler, she stared at him with her eyes wide opened.

"Anna... what's up?", he asked, going towards her, holding up his bloody hand. Her face changed – dark blue veins appeared around her eyes – suddenly she grabbed his neck and pulled him against the fridge.

"What the hell are you doing!", she asked angrily and threatening.

He knew it. She was one of them. She was a vampire.

"Go for it", he said and hold his wounded hand up. She couldn't resist, took his hand and began to drink.

It was kind of relieving that he knew what Anna was – Vicki must have been a vampire, too. Jeremy thought Vicki was still out there, somewhere. With Anna's help he was able to find her. Anna could have killed him, but she didn't do that. He was still alive.

In the evening, he met Elena in the bathroom while he brushed his teeth. She asked him if something important happened but he just shook his head. He could not tell anyone, not even his sister.

But all his hopes to see Vicki again were destroyed by some devastating news.


End file.
